This year, however, a new crisis has arisen which threatens to undermine the educational process and cause chaos and disunity for years. I refer, of course, to the declaration by the administration that denim not be worn to school by teachers.
According to the administration, denim is unprofessional in any form and presents teachers in a bad light when we are visited by outsiders. Denim is casual and we must be formal. Denim is cheap and we must show that we use our money wisely by buying high quality, non-denim clothing. Denim is low class and we are high-falutin'. It's clear that there must be solid research surrounding this issue. Our administration is data centered. Nothing happens in the school system without a good, solid, research based reason. It must be true that teachers who wear denim are not as effective as teachers who do not.
Therefore, no more jeans, and no more denim jackets or skirts. The elimination of denim from the wardrobe of teachers will have a positive impact on the education of children. No longer will children be taught by people who have the poor fashion sense to choose a fabric representative of the lower classes. Test scores will improve because teachers will be wearing clothes which assure the public of their professionalism.
Would you want your doctor treating you without his or her lab coat on? If you were in an accident, wouldn't you want the EMT at the scene to have his or her uniform on in order to receive the best possible care? Would you get on a bus, subway, train, or other form of public transportation without first checking to make sure that the driver is wearing his or her official transit system uniform?
Thank goodness we have administrators who are familiar with the latest trends and issues in education. The damage caused by a denim-laden teaching staff would take years to undo. Luckily the problem has been addressed and corrected. Our children are safe once again.
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This is indeed a crisis. But let me say from experience: the anti-denim thing works. Professionalism reaches a new high. Just look at School 99, where we couldn't have been stronger as a staff. So, look at what you have to look forward to... reaching School 99 heights, where you will "respect [y]ourselves and one another till [you] die"!
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